mindless soul, wandering around this city as other people starts to sleep. looking at the time, it's half past 4 already. and they started playing cards. funny how i got into it after insisting it for quite some time. a card game, a cigarette, a hit. then another game, another stick, another hit. and it's being going for almost a week already. i wonder when will i hit the limit. maybe not for the time being.
Ddean answered the call.
"Halo haloooo~ manoi?"
"satgi la. depa mau gerak pkui ropa?"
"taktau. hg mai la sini dulu"
it always confuses me why i'm always looking for them, and when i'm with them, i just felt like hanging out all alone by myself. stupid mindfuck brain. i just hope for the best for the apocalypse tonight. i need to stock up candies first. amir and yunus finished it all last night -.-
long thoughts and self - reflections wouldn't help me escape this abyss. henceforth i just stopped hoping and started to mingle with this feeling of lostness and despair. emotional as it seemed, i still feel nothing inside. there's a void in my heart. and i don't know how to fill it in. it's hard not to feel all mellow-ish as i haven't felt happy for awhile. satisfied, maybe sometimes. but not happy. happy is when i smile from cheek to cheek (pipi ke pipi) haha.
this feeling is bothersome. but i'm too lazy to do anything with it. i'm lazy to do anything actually. i'm better off dead. but then it would be troublesome for my relatives to attend my funeral later on.
maybe i'm better off to sleep.
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