u suck.

this is what i emailed to P1 careline just now. i dont know if im right or wrong, but i really want some explanation of this crap.

i think that my service plan that i took last year was a 12-month plan. i still got the receipt from the p1 store that i buy it and the receipt stated that it should be expired late july this year. i wonder why the bill keeps increasing with all the notifications from smses and emails? i thought that after 12 months, the service will be automatically terminated? why the people at p1 never consult me for any 'hidden ongoing' services that took places right after the 12-month plan has expired which cause the bills to keep increasing from month to month even though i did not subscribe for it? the p1 people from where i bought the modem does not tell me anything about this. just now my friend which took the same plan as me terminates her services, and guess what? her bill payment reaches RM 700+ without her knowing it! what is this? the p1 people does not tell us about any ongoing services of p1 wimax even after the service has been expired and thus, we assumed that it has been terminated on its own. now me myself is really disappointed with the way p1 handle their customers. they don't give full explanation to us customers when we first bought the modem. just now i checked my account at p1, and i have unpayed bills of RM 395.80. now tell me clearly, how can i terminate my account completely so that there will be no more 'hidden ongoing' services without me knowing it? please reply asap. tq

dont use P1 wimax. they suck ass. and your money. and they are super slow, too. 4G my ass. my 3G connection can beat their so-called 4G speed anytime. pfft. what a waste of money.

somersault.

it's 1.08 a.m. in the morning and i'm having my nose running, again. *sigh* i really start to wonder when will i ever get to taste food as it should be -____-'' (btw the picture dem fani la weh hahah) before i started this post, i was watching shutter island (still didn't finish the movie yet, actually) and from where i left it off, it was such a lousy kinky borrringgg predictable movie :| apart from swearing here and there, there were actually a scene where so many penises men genitals were shown, and i was like fap fap fap OMG biar betul leonardo dicaprio belakon cite cmni. where's the titanic man? where's the scene of the beautiful naked lady, posing for you? -____-'' i have read all my previous posts and started to regret why i deleted the others before them (if you have followed my blog for a long time, you'll know wth what i'm talking about). it was such a beautiful memories :') sometimes, i wish that i could turn back time and undo all the mistakes i've done before. but what's done is done. hmmm. i'm gonna resume my gay movie that has leonardo dicaprio looking at penises in it. once again, sorry for the awesome weird post. i think i'm just nervous for the upcoming results. pray for me :(

hell or high water.

i'm counting days until my results actually come out. only two days left before the joy/pain starts. my mind and body acted opposite to each other. one side is feeling pretty anxious about the upcoming results, while the other side is hiding itself, scared of what would came out after one and a half years of 'struggling' at intec. if you had studied at intec, you'll know what i mean. it feels a little like hell where everyday you go to the campus at 7.30 a.m. (8.30 for me) and only can go back to your room at 4 p.m. it's like repeating school life all over again, you know? okay stop being so emotional about intec -___- change of topic. lately i've been experiencing flu for some time now. my mom said that it might be sinus but i'm too scared to go to hospital and see a doc to save my sorry ass -_____-

tadi idea datang mencurah2. skarang tktau nk tulis ape. haih. let's see the big surprise this coming thursday.

drop - dead gorgeous.

it's really been awhile since i've last post anything in this blog. currently, i am very busy with life and the little small things in it. i've been to places, gaining new and rare experience, share beautiful and priceless moments with the one i love, make mistakes, undo mistakes, you name it. tick tock tick tock, and now the exam is just around the corner, i mean, REALLY around the corner. and i'm currently doing, nothing :D

and its weird that i'm satisfied with the way i'm doing nothing.

this week's a pretty hectic week, to be frank. tomorrow i thought of going back to cemara as i find myself hardly open any books, nor even have any motivation to study even though trial comes as a f***ing surprise just after the raya break. pity me. pity you. pity everybody. this year's raya celebration is not as usual. a little gloomy, i think. no mercun to play, study everyday. yep, i bring books to kampung to study. pretty nerd, aye? and to my 'surprise', there are two open houses tomorrow, at different places, different time. and the places is NOT near to each other. haih. okay, the chemistry book is waiting for me. we have a date, actually. and i'm late for the date for 9 hours already. pity her. till next time, blog.

i'm thinking of making a vlog next. how's that sound? :)

put at ease.

pakai cmni pi annual dinner okay tak?

boredom strikes, pressure leaps.

hypertension starts. plans go haywire. time is running out. rationality decreases. what i really need now is my family and che nabila che nashir. will miracles happen?

silent rendition.

benci betul kau kat aku kan?

im your kotaku.

be strong. every problem has its solutions. lay down, think for awhile. every nature has its own purposes. we all cared for you, because we love you. dont pressure yourself by thinking too hard on certain things. think logic, and rational. insyallah, all ends well.

return.

i really wanted to sleep. tired. but i donwan to disappoint u any further. i am hungry :| mana creampuff i ni. :|

hmm.

rafiqin darwisy, mulut kau bau longkang la. meh aku tolong bersihkan.

i'd do anything. i will do anything. i'd just do anything. please.

pressured.

frankly.

it's not easy to be me.

banbanban

dearest love, i hope this message finds you well. im sorry for being a little busy lately. and i know it disappoints you inside when i told you that my cousins are staying at my house for a couple of days. if i could find just a little time to spend it with you, i would baby. but i never have enough time. even now im thinking of overnight to study. i really want your cuppies. T.T your homemade cupcake is what keeps me going. that motivates me to study :( i miss you, dear. whenever i felt like giving up, you were there and gently punch me in the face and said:

"baby nanti macam mana nak kawen dengan i?"

then i smiled alone. no, not alone. with you. and i then i grab that red-colored mechanical pencil and continue to study.


as a conclusion, P(x) is not a cubic polynomial :| mengarut sudah. baby, i love you. muah! :'p

desensitization.

nowadays, my life is like hell on earth. back when i was at cendana, i missed my family a lot. but then, just when i reached home, the first thing i get is scold. from smile, slowly it turns to anger. then they pressured me to study for this week as i have a week of hols. my sweet annabel finishes her final paper today. and i think she has arrived home now. i want to meet her so bad. hope we could meet soon. i dont socialize much. even with family, i dont speak much. that's why i get lectures from my mother an hour ago. she said that i need to hang out more with family, as i dont even came out from my room whenever im at home. i really do prefer being alone in my room, i think. no one to talk to. just me and my laptop. i dont think it as pathetic, but more to peacefulness and being able to do something without any problems. desensitization, the title for this post, is defined as the condition for a person to not being aware to violence or fear around him/her in real life. have i started to desensitized? its not that im not being aware to violence around me but perhaps the people around me. i started to stray away from all the people i love. im changing. and everyone starts to notice that. is this cultural shock? i dont know. i want solutions, not bigger problems. now, even small problem can lead to bigger ones. and bigger ones does not show any sign of solutions. i have deleted facebook. facebook is not that addictive, not to me at least. but there is no privacy in there. my sister, my cousins, they all have added me on facebook. just to know what im doing in my daily life. even with family, we need a space for ourselves to be alone. its like, too much attention given is not good you know? by family, i know that they have the rights to know what im doing everyday. but i dont think everything ive done also being accounted for. i need my own privacy. im not being arrogant. im not being selfish. it's just my way of finding the solutions to my problems. i know, when i step out from this room, the first thing i get is hatred stare from my father and gloomy eyes from my mother. is it being disrespectful to say something like that? my father always think that i sleep late every night that i distracts me from my study. in reality it doesnt. i have my own way of studying. and i start to study well just before he starts his lecture to me. he have bad impression towards me, thats a fact. i dont know. im the only son but i think i bring shame to my family. i just want to solve all my problems and live peacefully. and now? i have to sleep my way out as an instant-solution to my ever-growing problems. i should study now. i need to study now.

tesla?

"and you said it would be funny to keep me hanging in suspense."


(One Man Drinnking Games, Mayday Parade)

ausmat got talent. really?

dpt 2nd runner up pun jadi laa.

ever so random, sure thing's falling,

selamat hari maulidur rasul semua. :)

updates.

1. today i witnessed sunrise with love. although we're just talking through phones, but i know we're looking at the same sun. it do feels amazing, you know. if only she was there. it would all be perfect. :)

2. today i cried. for those words that she said to me. moved me by that much. the words that i wouldn't forget as long as this soul could live and love her. i love you. dearest you.

3. today, i created a quotation, out of thin air. it is titled "rich love, golden money". it goes like this:

"you can have all the money on earth, but you won't have enough money to buy true love. for even gold and money are worthless when compared to a single second that i spent with you. try multiply it with a lifetime. yes, love is priceless. i love you. and i know that we are already rich by the love that we had dear. but im greedy. so would you spent your lifetime with me? we could get rich together :'p"

mcm merepek je. susah nk faham :|

sekadar sifar.

"korang ni taknak fly ke? buat penat sponsor korang je kluarkan duit untuk korang."




haih makan dalam betul ayat lecturer zaman sekarang. study study study!

avondale.

kenapa aku sgt rindu dia malam ini? :(

guilty conscience.

im guilty am i.

keeper.

akan ku perjuangkan cinta ini. akan ku jadi yg terbaik untukmu. akan ku elakkan dari menyakitimu. ku sayang bangat sama kamu. bangattttt nget nget ngot ngot. sayang awak :)

patchwork plagiarism.

awak awak saya tak reti tulis ayat ayat cinta wak. walaupun tengah belajar jiwang miwang ni, tapi saya still reti kopi paste je awak. ni untuk awak. tapi saya still cuba blajar ye wak.


Hai awak!

Awak..awak..biawak, saya nak bagitahu ni. Saya tengah bahagia tahap hospital bahagia ni. Selalu saya sengih sorang2. Tepi bas, tepi jalan raya, tepi jamban, dan tepi kain orang. Hendak buat macamana, saya sudah jumpa Cik Kanan saya. Cik Kanan saya cantik. Saya suka cakap muka dia macam ular. Eksotik. Tapi dia tak kisah. Kalau dia kisah pun, ada saya kisah. Eh eh.. Sah2 saya kisah..saya kisah. kehkeh.

Awak..awak..biawak, saya nak bagitahu ni. Saya happy gile tahap orang gile. Semua benda saya nak tambah gile kat belakang. Saya sayang gile kat dia. Saya rindu gile kat dia. Mudah cite, memang dia gile la. Eh tak tak. Dia tak gile. Tapi dia gile jugak la kadang2. Sebab tu saya sayang gile kat dia. kehkeh.

Awak..awak..biawak, saya nak jaga awak baik2. Sebab itu tadi saya isi borang jadi jaga. Orang kata, bila saya jadi jaga, saya boleh jaga awak baik2. Kalau tak, saya jaga awak jahat2. Awak nak saya camtu? Mesti tak nak kan. Kan? Jadi saya jaga awak baik2 la.kehkeh.

Awak..awak..biawak, saya janji akan jadi seorang yang setia seperti kereta satria.Walaupun maksudnya sangatlah berbeza, tapi dari saya kata seperti satria kebaja hitam, mesti awak terasa kan. Saya taknak awak terasa. Jadi saya taknak cakap benda2 ada warna hitam. Tapi saya suka tengok awak pakai baju warna hitam. Rasa comel dan cute. Nampak hitam orang kata. Tapi baju saja hitam. Hati awak putih gile. Betul saya tak tipu.kehkeh.

Awak..awak..biawak, akhir kata, saya sayang sangat sesangat kat awak. Walaupun saya kerek gile dalam blog ini, tapi saya tahu, awak mesti dapat baca apa yang tersirat kan? Sebab awak adalah saya, dan saya adalah awak. We're both meant to be together. Kan saya dah cakap omputih. Ok wak, I lap u always.

Yang benar dan ikhlas,
Pakwe awak yang tak berapa nak benar, tak berapa nak ikhlas.

p.s:Hehe,just kidding my dear.:P


sayang awak :)

hari ini kita jiwang lebih sikit.

hold on to me and never let me go.

surat cinta untuk yg tercinta.

im sorry, been a little busy lately. not spending time with you, that i want to so badly. so many things to do, so little time. i want you to focus on your stdy okay bby. be patient in life, and you will achieve success. i love you, and i always do. :)

kaca: a food poisoning story.

baru2 ni aku terpilih masuk program kaca (kem untuk budak2 kurang pandai kot). straight 3 hari, jumat sabtu ahad kene pegi kul 8 pagi then balik pkul 9 malam. malas satu hal. isnin ade test kimia pula. oh memang la aku ponteng hahaha. REBEL! hihi. minggu ni je sbb kaca ni aku balik rumah dua kali. sekali sbb nk amik baju, sekali lagi pun sbb nak ambik baju, tapi kali ni nak cari crocs skali dengan sedara aku. haha. ngidam lama da nk cari crocs. tapi tkda masa la nk keluar. rumet aku, megat ngan nafis, dua2 kena food poisoning. sbb? makan makanan yg diberi masa kaca tu. haa boleh saman ni. bagi makanan basi kepada peserta kem. hahaha. nasib la aku bg mee hun aku kt nafis. sorry wei :( skrg kt rumah kosong je sume pegi sogo buat rombongan cari perfume. aku duduk sorang2 kt rumah tktau nk buatpa. study? ohh last option aku la. haha. emmm kan best if u ada di rumah. we cud date :'> it's okay bby finish ur finals first okay? syg awak. rindu awak. terima kasih buat post psl saya. sy melt mcm butter bila baca post awak :)

oh oh baru2 ni aku buat first lab session aku. dan aku pecahkan test tube, orang pertama untuk budak2 program aku. ralik sangak maing capur2 toksik deh. hihi



hmm hmm hmm hmmmmmmm *krashhh* opps pecah! hahaha

koma.

i handed u a knife and my heart. and i know u wont stab it for pleasure. take my words. maybe I am crazy and my mind is trying to deceive me. as the ground vanishes I wonder, will the sky be the next to fail me?

"i am here to tell you a story
a story that will torture your thoughts by day and poison your dreams by night
and though i will do my best,
there are no words that can be written
nor brush strokes laid on canvas that can describe this dark and utter horror of the night that annabel disappear."

- baby lay in my arms, and cuddle me close. soon this will be just an awful memory -

boxesHEARTcherryblossom.

haah laaa sakura dlm english rupanya cherry blossom :'>

annabel.

we have so many difference that could be seen with naked eyes. they always talk about us behind our backs. about bad things, about good things. we wouldn't know. it hurts to know. but one thing we did know is that they are wondering. why, oh why? why did i love you? and then i turn around to them, and smiled.


"annabel, to tell you the truth, i don't even know why i love you. but i really do. deep in my heart. i really do love you. i just do. you complete me in every way. giving me supports in anything that i do. it's just, wonderful. and amazing. in how you restored my self-esteem back in just a second or two. a miracle, i suppose, the right word to describe you. yes dear. you are my miracle. and i love you. sincere from the bottom of my heart."



and then they began to smile. satisfied with my answer, i presume. i want to let them see. i want them to hear. i want them to know. what this love feels like.


- fazrin.

kotak cinta sakura.

sabya sabyanbg abwbak sbanbgat. rbibndu pbubla kbat abwbak. cbepbat cbepbat jumbpba, cbebpat cbebpat sbtubdy thbenb sbayba nbabk hbibdup dbenbgabn abwabk. bib blobbvbe byboub :)





- B.

2.11 a.m.

not many people are still awake. not many things to say. hope tomorrow will be a better day. ;]

emergency: harmonic means.

hey. kamu di situ. kamu tahu sy sgt rindu kamu? terlalu byk yg ingin dkatakan, terlalu sdikit masa. bulan januari smakin dekat dgan pengakhirannya. sy makin merepek, sy tahu. perasaan sy bercampur aduk. kadang2, rasa sunyi, kmudian terfikir psl awk. bunyinya jiwang tp itu bukan main point di sini. skrg byk bnda dh berubah. ketara dpt dilihat dgn mata kasar. ia memakan diri sy. oh bukan2 sy tiada bakteria makan daging. cuma, terlalu byk yg disimpan di dalam. perlu dikeluarkan juga. sy tk tahu apa keadaan skarang. tp itu tk mengapa. main priority skarang, sememangnya study. sy tidak tahu keadaan awk di sana bagaimana. awk mnutup diri sendiri daripada dunia luar. ingin sy bertanyakan khabar. tetapi seringkali gagal. sy sihat sja. yup, skarang mjadi class rep yg tak pernah awal. sperti biasa. sy juga dh berupaya mbahagikan masa utk study dan masa utk bergelak tawa. kdg kala, sy kmbali fikir smula kpd awk. apa yg awk buat ketika itu. tk mengapa, itu cuma satu persoalan. sy tdak mahu menghalang awk. sebaliknya, sy sokong awk. sila study dgn pnuh smangat, dan biarkan segalanya berlaku dgan natural. di saat awk mnghadapi ksukaran, ingatlah Allah s.w.t. smua ini hanyalah dugaannya. mgkin lepas ini Dia ingin mberi nikmat? entah siapa yg tahu. Dia yg mnentukan yg terbaik utk kita. tentang kematian. semua akan pergi kembali kpdNya. sy juga. tk tahu bila. sy juga takut. hidup ini semua sementara. tiada yg utk selamanya. kita hidup dgn tujuan. jd kuatkan diri dan teruskan hidup awk. mgkin sy akn pergi dulu, siapa yg tahu. silap langkah sdikit, fazrin menjadi sejarah kosong. mungkin ianya merepek lagi, tetapi sy risau apa yg akn berlaku pd awk sekiranya sy pergi dulu. cukuplah dgn tanggapan tentang kematian. suram pula post ini nnt. sy masih tertanya2 apa yg awk sdang lakukan skrg. mungkin sdang tidur? study? ym? entah. lights and sounds dendangan yellowcard sedang bermain. gelap gulita bilik ini diterangi dengan cahaya kecil dari ipod. namun sy masih risau psl awk. awk memang susah utk dijangka, ya? kdg kala, sy tertanya2, adakah awk fikir tentang sy? awk fikir tk apa yg sy lakukan hari ini? kdg kala bunyinya seperti perasan sendiri pula. byk perasaan telah sy rasakan pd masa yg sama. tp awk telah sedarkan sy yg emosional itu sesuatu yg ngatif. btul2, mmg ngatif. apa yg sy merepek ni. blog ni entah mampu tahan ke tk smpai waktu tua sy agaknya. nk dibaca semula kisah2 dari sebelum sy matang, hingga sy berjumpa awk. byak perkara yg dah berlaku. em, dah mengantuk. slamat mlm, ban.

why?

"to do otherwise will be an act of suicide"

- Gaius

i really suck at telling lies to my heart.

my final heaven.

result sem 1 mmg mcm biase lah, study pun biase2 je. kimia b, fizik b, ielts b, c++ b, math? haaaa C. hmm. i hate studying. but then again, i hate it when my friends get higher marks than me. much MUCH higher. grr. koyak kertas exam kang. hahaha. i need to study. i have to. but where's my mood to study? i forgot where i put it :|

reminiscence.

ramai yang kata, insyallah hidup bahagia, live happily ever after. persoalannya, would you die, or would i die first?

"heaven can wait". how about hell?

selamat tahun baru 2010, di mana sambutannya semakin pelik dari tahun ke tahun. bila difikirkan balik, 2009 adalah tahun di mana banyak pengalaman yang aku dapat. pengalaman uni, pengalaman cinta, pengalaman bawak keta n banyak lg. ada pahit manisnya tahun ni, memang biasa juga bagi tahun2 akan datang. itu sudah pasti. aku sudah bersedia, mungkin. banyak pengajaran diterima, banyak ajaran dipelajari. banyak salah silap disana sini. aku buat dengan penuh bangga. haha. learn from our mistakes la. dah salah buat cara salah. kalau betul buat cara salah jugak :p it's one day before my last day here in my home. aku rasa sedih. nak tinggalkan keluarga. nak tinggalkan kamu. nak tinggalkan kawan2. nak tinggalkan rumah. nak tinggalkan semuanya. malasssssss nak masuk balik uni. malasssss nak buka buku. malas oh malas oh malas oh malas. lately semasa cuti sem aku asyik penat je. tidur over pulak. bangun2 pening. haish. body clock sah2 dah hancur. nak betulkan body clock tinggal sehari je. argh must get my lazy ass to work again. tapi kali ini azam dah berubah. aku nak study. nak fly. nak kerja. then, hihi. okay kembali ke sini semula. haha. lapar. okay ape2 pun, second semester starts tomorrow. kali ni, study comes in full blast la nmpaknye. adoii haha. selamat tahun baru!