i have already lost to myself the moment i choose this path.
fuck me, right.
premature ventricular contraction
i want to change the lifestyle that i'm living on. from now on, i'll go to class. be a normal student as other healthy, normal student should be. but, at the same time, i'll continue to be who i am now. it's like living a double life, perhaps. those who know me here would understand what i'm talking about.
the existence of the newly bought (codename: Apple) has given me many opportunities to do what i do best. plus, it is quite easy for me to get (codename: candy) from my friends. the only thing that's keeping me from not doing it was myself. it was too easy to create a new session anywhere, anytime now. and i'm quite aware of that. but i'm still a student :( why should i be like this? shit. i hate self-reflecting.
it's already 2.37 pm here. i have lab session at 4. i need to decide, either to be a student, or to be the other option.
i think i'll take both. will update soon the result of taking both ways -_____-
the existence of the newly bought (codename: Apple) has given me many opportunities to do what i do best. plus, it is quite easy for me to get (codename: candy) from my friends. the only thing that's keeping me from not doing it was myself. it was too easy to create a new session anywhere, anytime now. and i'm quite aware of that. but i'm still a student :( why should i be like this? shit. i hate self-reflecting.
it's already 2.37 pm here. i have lab session at 4. i need to decide, either to be a student, or to be the other option.
i think i'll take both. will update soon the result of taking both ways -_____-
the King
i think i've become too ignorant lately.
i haven't seen sunshine for awhile now. woke up just to see another night. i wonder, will i continue to live my life like this?
and they said that studying can be considered as a job. well, i usually work at night. and sleep during the day. sometimes i pity myself. biological clock of mine has gone haywire.
sometimes i would ask myself, why did i choose this path? i've become the man i least wanted to be when i was still a little kid. i know that we all became different when we grow up. but i knew that i can be better than this. better than who i am now. but i choose to remain this way. i choose to be the same.
the cold shivering night weeps as i light up another cigarrete. as i stare at the moon, i ask myself a question.
will i be able to endure this dark life that i'm living in?
i haven't seen sunshine for awhile now. woke up just to see another night. i wonder, will i continue to live my life like this?
and they said that studying can be considered as a job. well, i usually work at night. and sleep during the day. sometimes i pity myself. biological clock of mine has gone haywire.
sometimes i would ask myself, why did i choose this path? i've become the man i least wanted to be when i was still a little kid. i know that we all became different when we grow up. but i knew that i can be better than this. better than who i am now. but i choose to remain this way. i choose to be the same.
the cold shivering night weeps as i light up another cigarrete. as i stare at the moon, i ask myself a question.
will i be able to endure this dark life that i'm living in?
harley quinn
this week was hectic. the mood of eid still lingers around the neighbourhood. pegi beraya. lab and tutorials lagi. however, sessions in the night are always on. huhu
i'm thankful to god, but i'm feeling guilty at the same time. studies starting to get ridiculous, as always.
time is ticking. but it hasn't seem to be going anywhere.
ibiza
for 5 minutes, i just stared at the monitor, thinking what should i type for this post. i ended up staring for another 5 minutes.
oh, yunus start baca blog aku hari ni. hai yunus!
today i feel like i just achieved something. no sleep from last night, and attended all class for today. in weng mode. hihi
sometimes to do what's right, is by doing the wrong thing.
hari ni semua lagu jiwang kat radio, dan time shuffle ipod. kenapa mesti hari ni?
oh, yunus start baca blog aku hari ni. hai yunus!
today i feel like i just achieved something. no sleep from last night, and attended all class for today. in weng mode. hihi
sometimes to do what's right, is by doing the wrong thing.
hari ni semua lagu jiwang kat radio, dan time shuffle ipod. kenapa mesti hari ni?
3:57 AM
watched the dark knight rises today. and it makes me wonder, if ever a man like bruce wayne ever existed.
no, it's not about the money or the girls he had, but the will. he lost his parents when he was still a kid. what's more terrifying, they were both killed in front of his eyes. living alone in this world, without anyone related to you is like dying a slow and painful death. heck, even people of gotham city hates him for the death of harvey dent. no, no spoilers here. and he still risked his life to save the city. hmm
enough with fairy tales. let's rewind to this morning. i woke up today, only to be disappointed by the morning sunshine. the whole house didn't woke up for sahur today. feeling sad, i went back to sleep and missed my physics lecture. haha. to think that i could start this semester with a new resolution. pfft
lately i've been spending too much time on my head. as introvert as it may seem, i started to feel better here. homesick starts to fade away slowly, but i still hope to return to Malaysia whenever i could. time is ticking without sympathy. maybe celebrating raya here wouldn't be such a bad idea. of course, the best place to be is Malaysia. when you've been away from your home country, it will be the only place that you miss the most.
i don't know what the future holds, but keeping this feeling for myself has made me a man full of imaginations, you know. too much imagination in your head could destroy yourself too. being friends is nice, but i want more than that. so much more. don't get me wrong, i'm just a normal guy :/ but the waiting should stop. i hate telling to myself that she would be the one. i've loved her since day one we first met back in the days. of course it's me who should man up and talk to her about this, but everytime she's there, my mind goes blanky-blank. such love drunk. only this blog is where i could let out what i had in mind.
being too secretive is not good, but i have my own reasons. you'll find another man. it was good while it lasts. i loved you before, and always do. clapping with one hand is stupid, and it stops now.
will i ever grew up?
oh btw, happy birthday sofia! you've grown up now. i can see myself in you. i can see myself in both my little sisters. i love you guys lots. don't miss me too much okay. tolong umi masak kuih raya tau. jangan main mercun ja. i'll be home before you know it :)
maybe there's still hope.
no, it's not about the money or the girls he had, but the will. he lost his parents when he was still a kid. what's more terrifying, they were both killed in front of his eyes. living alone in this world, without anyone related to you is like dying a slow and painful death. heck, even people of gotham city hates him for the death of harvey dent. no, no spoilers here. and he still risked his life to save the city. hmm
enough with fairy tales. let's rewind to this morning. i woke up today, only to be disappointed by the morning sunshine. the whole house didn't woke up for sahur today. feeling sad, i went back to sleep and missed my physics lecture. haha. to think that i could start this semester with a new resolution. pfft
lately i've been spending too much time on my head. as introvert as it may seem, i started to feel better here. homesick starts to fade away slowly, but i still hope to return to Malaysia whenever i could. time is ticking without sympathy. maybe celebrating raya here wouldn't be such a bad idea. of course, the best place to be is Malaysia. when you've been away from your home country, it will be the only place that you miss the most.
i don't know what the future holds, but keeping this feeling for myself has made me a man full of imaginations, you know. too much imagination in your head could destroy yourself too. being friends is nice, but i want more than that. so much more. don't get me wrong, i'm just a normal guy :/ but the waiting should stop. i hate telling to myself that she would be the one. i've loved her since day one we first met back in the days. of course it's me who should man up and talk to her about this, but everytime she's there, my mind goes blanky-blank. such love drunk. only this blog is where i could let out what i had in mind.
being too secretive is not good, but i have my own reasons. you'll find another man. it was good while it lasts. i loved you before, and always do. clapping with one hand is stupid, and it stops now.
will i ever grew up?
oh btw, happy birthday sofia! you've grown up now. i can see myself in you. i can see myself in both my little sisters. i love you guys lots. don't miss me too much okay. tolong umi masak kuih raya tau. jangan main mercun ja. i'll be home before you know it :)
maybe there's still hope.
blitzkrieg
i guess homesick is inevitable.
i arrived yesterday with the cold wind shivering down my bones. lulz, sounds like a direct translation, no?
i looked up the important dates for this semester to see if there's an opening for me to go back to Malaysia for raya this year, only to disappoint myself. the only holiday for this semester is on 24 - 30th of September. which is quite far off the raya itself. how lucky.
i was tired when i arrived at the airport and planned to sleep all day, ended up going to signal and system lecture and had iftar at uni's musolla. catching up with friends was fun indeed.
i think the reason for me being homesick was because i slept too much back in Malaysia. too much that i've lost my the time to spend with my family. hmm
now that i'm awake, still i need to go back to sleep for sahur later, but i don't know when is the time they normally wake up for sahur here -________- probably around 4 perhaps.
i'm here already. i should make the best out of it.
no more games.
perhaps a little? maybe.
homesick is one fucked up feeling. you should try it, too.
i arrived yesterday with the cold wind shivering down my bones. lulz, sounds like a direct translation, no?
i looked up the important dates for this semester to see if there's an opening for me to go back to Malaysia for raya this year, only to disappoint myself. the only holiday for this semester is on 24 - 30th of September. which is quite far off the raya itself. how lucky.
i was tired when i arrived at the airport and planned to sleep all day, ended up going to signal and system lecture and had iftar at uni's musolla. catching up with friends was fun indeed.
i think the reason for me being homesick was because i slept too much back in Malaysia. too much that i've lost my the time to spend with my family. hmm
now that i'm awake, still i need to go back to sleep for sahur later, but i don't know when is the time they normally wake up for sahur here -________- probably around 4 perhaps.
i'm here already. i should make the best out of it.
no more games.
perhaps a little? maybe.
homesick is one fucked up feeling. you should try it, too.
picture.
it's friday now. how time flies. the first week of 2nd semester is almost over.
i wonder why i still couldn't find contentment?
too much judgement? perhaps.
too much self-indulgence? possibly.
too much thinking? not really.
i have problems in writing posts of higher literature. however, i'm quite fond of them despite the fact that i couldn't write it. i find it amusing how people could actually write something of that complexity.
people have their own problems to dealt with.
some help others to solve their problems.
some are lucky enough to not have any problems at all while others strive to face theirs.
life is indeed unfair, no?
i wonder why i still couldn't find contentment?
too much judgement? perhaps.
too much self-indulgence? possibly.
too much thinking? not really.
i have problems in writing posts of higher literature. however, i'm quite fond of them despite the fact that i couldn't write it. i find it amusing how people could actually write something of that complexity.
people have their own problems to dealt with.
some help others to solve their problems.
some are lucky enough to not have any problems at all while others strive to face theirs.
life is indeed unfair, no?
ambiguous
i can't tell dreams from reality nowadays.
a lot of things going on my mind lately. and i can't seem to set my priorities straight.
i assume this new semester shall be another downfall?
a lot of things going on my mind lately. and i can't seem to set my priorities straight.
i assume this new semester shall be another downfall?
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