koma.

i handed u a knife and my heart. and i know u wont stab it for pleasure. take my words. maybe I am crazy and my mind is trying to deceive me. as the ground vanishes I wonder, will the sky be the next to fail me?

"i am here to tell you a story
a story that will torture your thoughts by day and poison your dreams by night
and though i will do my best,
there are no words that can be written
nor brush strokes laid on canvas that can describe this dark and utter horror of the night that annabel disappear."

- baby lay in my arms, and cuddle me close. soon this will be just an awful memory -

boxesHEARTcherryblossom.

haah laaa sakura dlm english rupanya cherry blossom :'>

annabel.

we have so many difference that could be seen with naked eyes. they always talk about us behind our backs. about bad things, about good things. we wouldn't know. it hurts to know. but one thing we did know is that they are wondering. why, oh why? why did i love you? and then i turn around to them, and smiled.


"annabel, to tell you the truth, i don't even know why i love you. but i really do. deep in my heart. i really do love you. i just do. you complete me in every way. giving me supports in anything that i do. it's just, wonderful. and amazing. in how you restored my self-esteem back in just a second or two. a miracle, i suppose, the right word to describe you. yes dear. you are my miracle. and i love you. sincere from the bottom of my heart."



and then they began to smile. satisfied with my answer, i presume. i want to let them see. i want them to hear. i want them to know. what this love feels like.


- fazrin.

kotak cinta sakura.

sabya sabyanbg abwbak sbanbgat. rbibndu pbubla kbat abwbak. cbepbat cbepbat jumbpba, cbebpat cbebpat sbtubdy thbenb sbayba nbabk hbibdup dbenbgabn abwabk. bib blobbvbe byboub :)





- B.

2.11 a.m.

not many people are still awake. not many things to say. hope tomorrow will be a better day. ;]

emergency: harmonic means.

hey. kamu di situ. kamu tahu sy sgt rindu kamu? terlalu byk yg ingin dkatakan, terlalu sdikit masa. bulan januari smakin dekat dgan pengakhirannya. sy makin merepek, sy tahu. perasaan sy bercampur aduk. kadang2, rasa sunyi, kmudian terfikir psl awk. bunyinya jiwang tp itu bukan main point di sini. skrg byk bnda dh berubah. ketara dpt dilihat dgn mata kasar. ia memakan diri sy. oh bukan2 sy tiada bakteria makan daging. cuma, terlalu byk yg disimpan di dalam. perlu dikeluarkan juga. sy tk tahu apa keadaan skarang. tp itu tk mengapa. main priority skarang, sememangnya study. sy tidak tahu keadaan awk di sana bagaimana. awk mnutup diri sendiri daripada dunia luar. ingin sy bertanyakan khabar. tetapi seringkali gagal. sy sihat sja. yup, skarang mjadi class rep yg tak pernah awal. sperti biasa. sy juga dh berupaya mbahagikan masa utk study dan masa utk bergelak tawa. kdg kala, sy kmbali fikir smula kpd awk. apa yg awk buat ketika itu. tk mengapa, itu cuma satu persoalan. sy tdak mahu menghalang awk. sebaliknya, sy sokong awk. sila study dgn pnuh smangat, dan biarkan segalanya berlaku dgan natural. di saat awk mnghadapi ksukaran, ingatlah Allah s.w.t. smua ini hanyalah dugaannya. mgkin lepas ini Dia ingin mberi nikmat? entah siapa yg tahu. Dia yg mnentukan yg terbaik utk kita. tentang kematian. semua akan pergi kembali kpdNya. sy juga. tk tahu bila. sy juga takut. hidup ini semua sementara. tiada yg utk selamanya. kita hidup dgn tujuan. jd kuatkan diri dan teruskan hidup awk. mgkin sy akn pergi dulu, siapa yg tahu. silap langkah sdikit, fazrin menjadi sejarah kosong. mungkin ianya merepek lagi, tetapi sy risau apa yg akn berlaku pd awk sekiranya sy pergi dulu. cukuplah dgn tanggapan tentang kematian. suram pula post ini nnt. sy masih tertanya2 apa yg awk sdang lakukan skrg. mungkin sdang tidur? study? ym? entah. lights and sounds dendangan yellowcard sedang bermain. gelap gulita bilik ini diterangi dengan cahaya kecil dari ipod. namun sy masih risau psl awk. awk memang susah utk dijangka, ya? kdg kala, sy tertanya2, adakah awk fikir tentang sy? awk fikir tk apa yg sy lakukan hari ini? kdg kala bunyinya seperti perasan sendiri pula. byk perasaan telah sy rasakan pd masa yg sama. tp awk telah sedarkan sy yg emosional itu sesuatu yg ngatif. btul2, mmg ngatif. apa yg sy merepek ni. blog ni entah mampu tahan ke tk smpai waktu tua sy agaknya. nk dibaca semula kisah2 dari sebelum sy matang, hingga sy berjumpa awk. byak perkara yg dah berlaku. em, dah mengantuk. slamat mlm, ban.

why?

"to do otherwise will be an act of suicide"

- Gaius

i really suck at telling lies to my heart.

my final heaven.

result sem 1 mmg mcm biase lah, study pun biase2 je. kimia b, fizik b, ielts b, c++ b, math? haaaa C. hmm. i hate studying. but then again, i hate it when my friends get higher marks than me. much MUCH higher. grr. koyak kertas exam kang. hahaha. i need to study. i have to. but where's my mood to study? i forgot where i put it :|

reminiscence.

ramai yang kata, insyallah hidup bahagia, live happily ever after. persoalannya, would you die, or would i die first?

"heaven can wait". how about hell?

selamat tahun baru 2010, di mana sambutannya semakin pelik dari tahun ke tahun. bila difikirkan balik, 2009 adalah tahun di mana banyak pengalaman yang aku dapat. pengalaman uni, pengalaman cinta, pengalaman bawak keta n banyak lg. ada pahit manisnya tahun ni, memang biasa juga bagi tahun2 akan datang. itu sudah pasti. aku sudah bersedia, mungkin. banyak pengajaran diterima, banyak ajaran dipelajari. banyak salah silap disana sini. aku buat dengan penuh bangga. haha. learn from our mistakes la. dah salah buat cara salah. kalau betul buat cara salah jugak :p it's one day before my last day here in my home. aku rasa sedih. nak tinggalkan keluarga. nak tinggalkan kamu. nak tinggalkan kawan2. nak tinggalkan rumah. nak tinggalkan semuanya. malasssssss nak masuk balik uni. malasssss nak buka buku. malas oh malas oh malas oh malas. lately semasa cuti sem aku asyik penat je. tidur over pulak. bangun2 pening. haish. body clock sah2 dah hancur. nak betulkan body clock tinggal sehari je. argh must get my lazy ass to work again. tapi kali ini azam dah berubah. aku nak study. nak fly. nak kerja. then, hihi. okay kembali ke sini semula. haha. lapar. okay ape2 pun, second semester starts tomorrow. kali ni, study comes in full blast la nmpaknye. adoii haha. selamat tahun baru!